I felt a little princessy with my last post, and I almost deleted it, but I decided in the end to keep it because it's honest if not entirely well-written.  I mean really, who demands their dog be put to the top of a cruise ship waiting list just because I've paid for a cruise? I'm kind of disgusted with myself, especially given the fact that my entire Ph.D. is dedicated to humanitarian causes in developing (formerly known as third world) countries.  But you know, blogging is a funny thing. It's a weird snapshot into your life but it doesn't encompass you entirely...

For example, I haven't blogged about the fact that one of my dearest friends and I may have irreparably damaged our relationship.  She doesn't read or know about this blog (to my knowledge) but I just don't think it would be respectful to discuss it on the off chance that she did.  Nonetheless, it has been a huge part of the last 8 months of my life and I feel sad about it and somewhat helpless and powerless in this situation.

I haven't blogged much about my last year in New Orleans save a few brief posts.  Living a year in that extraordinary city shaped me in ways I never would have thought (and that was part of why I knew I would move to London -- I was hungry for more). 

I haven't blogged about my father and the fact that we haven't spoken in a decade as of February save a few words at my Grandfather's memorial service in 2003.  I probably won't ever discuss it publicly but it's heartbreaking to know that you have to grieve a relationship in such a way so that you're not devastated by the fact that you have a parent who is living but who chooses not to interact with you. 

And for that matter, I haven't blogged about my parent's divorce, subsequent remarriages (both of them) and subsequent divorces (both of them), and how all of that has shaped me and my views toward marriage.

I haven't blogged much at all about my amazing group of phenomenal girlfriends in Austin and Houston who are mind-blowingly incredible.  Some days I seriously marvel at how brilliant, talented, loyal, thoughtful and downright extraordinary these women are and frankly sometimes I'm a little shocked they are friends with me.  I am so, so, so fortunate.

I haven't blogged about my political beliefs.  I follow politics a lot but mostly global politics -- particularly when they pertain to developing countries.  I may find myself posting about a global political occurrence (like what's happening in Tunisia right now) but I won't talk about U.S. politics, or if I do, likely you won't be able to elicit my beliefs.  I'm incredibly neutral.

I haven't blogged about my high school experiences which shaped much of who I am (mainly from traumatic experiences at a private parochial school.)  Maybe someday this will come out, but I still struggle with talking about it.

So, all this is to say, we are all intricate and complex humans, hopefully more than the sum of our parts.  My last post was more about being frustrated with a customer service issue and trying to right that issue (as is my strong-willed nature) versus demanding princess treatment, even though when I re-read the post, that is TOTALLY how it sounded.  I was a little mortified, frankly, and apologize if that is how it came off.  In any case, I hope you'll interpret it as was intended.

I have more to say on the subject of blogging, not anything that hasn't been said before, but more of just confirming what others have concluded...however, the Canadian is asking me to watch a Vicar of Dibley episode and so I need to save that for another day.
1/25/2011 03:47:43 pm

This was a brilliant post! Blogging is such an interesting thing, because we let people into our worlds to 'know' us, but we completely control what it is we want people to know. It's like for me, I only let people see the happy funny side (except for when all my waterford was shattered), and I don't know if I'd ever really open up about all the other stuff. I don't think it would make very fun reading!
And I'm sorry about the rift with your friend xo

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1/25/2011 09:44:09 pm

Agree. It's controlled knowledge (and I love the happy tone of your blog!!) I'm really reticent to be as open as some folks have been on their blogs, but admire them for putting it out there. I think I'm just to private/chicken to do it.

Blogging is a funny phenomenon and I'm sort of intrigued by it...learning every day!

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You can write about ANYHTING you want on your blog, that's the completely fab thing about blogs! Decide what you want out of it, and write towards that goal. I think it's more about the writing style than the content anyway, much of the time.

And regarding marriage--it wasn't the institution of marriage that was the problem for your parents. Don't let their experiences alter how you view marriage. We all have choices, and it's our choices that define us, not our situations. I have divorced parents and I have been divorced. I am now happily married and I know that marriage is what you make it. xx

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