You might remember I introduced you to Kissinger here -- it's a good introduction to this story.
The story begins around 6 am sometime back in 2006. I have a 7:30 am appointment so I'm up at 6 to head downstairs to get my mandatory morning coffee. From the stairs I can see into my dining room and on this particular morning, when I look into my dining room, I see an enormous puddle of water underneath my dining room table.
The Canadian was on the road so it was just the dog and me having a cozy evening by ourselves. I was looking to create a little ambiance for our romantic evening so I thought I might add a little mood lighting.
Sometime later in the evening, I decided to head to bed accidentally leaving the candle burning ... and here is where the events are a bit fuzzy. I don't exactly *know* what happened, but there are two scenarios, both valid, however, one is slightly more scientific than the other. Nonetheless, I will give you both of the stories and you can choose which is your favorite.
Story A (slightly more scientific) Sometime during the night, as the candle burns, the potpourri in the candle catches fire creating quite a large fire for a candle
Now for Story B, which I personally believe is the correct scenario, and also the reason why you too will believe that Kissinger is a hero and saved my home from burning down
As the fire grew hotter and hotter, Kissinger realized that the table might catch on fire.
I should also tell you that the story really doesn't end here. There is an entrance by Delilah (the German Shepherd) into this story that really puts the 'cherry on parfait' so to speak.
Fast forward back to where I'm having my coffee at 6:30 am or so (after Kissinger is safely in a bowl of water). I began cleaning the mess and I see the awful char marks on the table. My mother-in-law had told me at one point that rubbing a bit of mayonnaise into a wooden table often helps with imperfections or problem areas. Remember I had an appointment at 7:30? At this point, I'm in a huge hurry, so I grab a mayonnaise jar and LIBERALLY spread the mayo on the charred area in hopes that I might salvage some of the table when I get home.
I quickly throw on my clothes and race out the door. I return home sometime around 9 that morning and walk to the table to see what I can do to repair the fire damage. When I get to the table, I see that not only is the mayonnaise completely gone -- in its place are ENORMOUS claw marks stretching from the charring at the center of the table to the edge, ALL AROUND THE ENTIRE TABLE. Apparently, Delilah was after the mayonnaise - and what WAS a 4 or 5 inch spot of fire damage, now became a thoroughly scarred table. Really, at that point, I was kind of just ready to start drinking...I was fairly certain it was 5:00 in Beijing or Australia.
So, friends, THAT is the story of how my fish saved my life and my dog not only did NOT save my life (see the P.S. below), but she also ruined my table.
P.S. You might have also wondered (as I did much later in the day), why the dog didn't awaken me as my table was catching on fire? You have probably heard of dogs saving owners from fires? I cannot answer this except to say that, while Delilah was indeed a very smart dog, she was also a really unusual one and sometimes she just really couldn't be bothered -- with anything -- including saving her owner (who fed her...). :-/